But when I could no longer fight my way back into REM and my eyes popped open this morning, I knew that everything I'd experienced the night before had really happened.
Donald J. Trump, sexist homophobe, overt racist, xenophobic, tax evading, cheapskate, rapist and failed businessman, compulsive liar and narcissistic bully and sociopath has just been elected to the highest office in the land.
Now, I would never call myself an optimist especially when it comes to this country. I don't expect the American people to collectively make morally sound decisions because the country wasn't founded on morally sound principals. But I will say that I didn't expect Donald Trump to become President because well . . . have you seen him?!
This man has worked his way through offending every single marginalized group that exists in America. He lies and doesn't pay taxes. He has no respect for women, their bodies or anything outside of their appearance. He offers no specific solutions regarding policy. And the solutions that he does offer are overly simplistic, harmful, historically ineffective and scary as hell.
But if you're reading this, I'm sure you already know that.
This morning I walked my dog at 6:30am and took a different route, hoping to avoid anyone who might want to talk about their feelings on this election. I suspect that I'll be doing that for the next few days, maybe even weeks.
Now comes my pessimism. I strongly believe that Donald Trump embodies everything that America stands for. He is the mirror many of us have needed in order to wake up and see how troubled we truly are as a nation.
I watched a video not too long ago where a woman explained that America loves making movies about rag-tag groups of underdog heroes that get together and fight the big bad bully. But what America doesn't realize is that they are seen by other countries as the big bad bully. As someone that has lived overseas, I can attest to that.
America is seen as a bully that lies and intrudes into the affairs of others under the guise of "helping" but really just seeking out power and potential financial opportunities. A bully that is racist and xenophobic. A bully that doesn't care about women. A narcissistic, hypocritical and extremely wealthy bully. Do all of these things sound familiar? They do to me. They sound like Trump.
But many people don't realize that America as a whole is seen as a bully. Hell, many Americans don't realize that America is bullying its own people. But something tells me that a Donald Trump presidency will be the wake up call so many of us need.
I can't say that I'm rooting against our country. Far from it. I want there to be change for the better. But centuries of apathy for the plight of others is what finally brought the devil to our doorstep. And if it takes him causing some destruction to get us to exorcise our demons, I am not against that wake up call. Hell, many of us have already been suffering for centuries with no one to hear our plight.
Marginalized groups have been warning White America for years about the unfairness that we've experienced.
There have been live executions on social media for goodness' sake and still no federal changes in harmful policing policies.
So how bad does it have to get for White people to wake up and realize WE have a huge problem with racism, sexism, elitism, xenophobia, classism, prison industrial complex, health care, environmental sustainability, energy, national debt, student loan debt, world relations, gun control, etc. etc. etc. in this country? (I say White people, because they make up the overwhelming majority of Trump voters despite his notoriously tone-deaf and backwards stance on all of the above mentioned issues).
Perhaps the chilling answer to that question is in the form of a catastrophe by the name of Donald Jonathan Trump.
Everyone else is bracing for the blows that could come with a Trump presidency. Everyone, of course, but the millions of White people that elected him to office and fully expect to benefit from his presidency. It will be a very sad day when these people are shaken from their reality. And they will be shaken the hardest, because they won't see it coming.
Either way, I'm looking forward to all of the good that will come after this man massively screws up. I'm excited to see a country that learns from its mistakes and finally starts to keep its promise. I just hope we can all survive these chickens coming home to roost.